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so pleased with daydreams
now living's no good
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08:42 pm(no subject)
jinkx monsoon
I took my gerbil to the vet Wednesday night, and she said pretty much what I expected: If I decided to have the surgery done, there is a good chance he wouldn't wake up from it :( She cauterized his wound and said if he stops picking at it and it heals, then it would probably be in my best interest to leave it alone, because the benefits of the surgery wouldn't be as great as the risks. She also suggested fashioning a t-shirt for him out of a baby sock to keep the wound covered so he wouldn't pick at it. Unfortunately by the time I got the shirt made the following day, he'd already opened another wound. I was going to put the shirt on him anyway to keep him from making it worse, but he was very opposed to the idea and bit my finger very hard in the process, so I gave up. Now I don't know what to do, because as long as the tumor's there he's going to keep picking at it, but I know he will possibly die if I get the surgery. But he will definitely die if I don't! I just hate the idea of basically sending him to his death, especially since I don't know how long he would live without the surgery. I know this, I am never getting a pet with a short lifespan again. It's just too sad.
07:39 pm(no subject)
jinkx monsoon
More pet drama: My gerbil has a tumor on his scent gland, which he has chewed a hole through :( I feel bad for not noticing it sooner, but I usually don't pick him up because he doesn't like it. It must have grown pretty fast, though. I'm going to take him to the vet tomorrow morning and see what the options are. I'm not sure if he would be considered "old" at 2 1/2 years old; I know some vets won't perform surgery on older gerbils because the anesthesia can kill them. I'm worried about the open wound he has as well, it looks really bad and could get infected. The wound is especially concerning because I've read the tumors aren't painful, but an infected wound definitely is :( Poor baby.
02:07 pm(no subject)
jinkx monsoon
Doggie has been eating today and has kept down everything thus far. For the first time in days, she has actually been hanging around the kitchen trying to get food (we've been using discretion about what and how much we give her, though). Quite an improvement from the past couple of days when she wouldn't even eat ice. I think she will be okay, I definitely will keep an eye out in case her symptoms return/worsen.
07:16 pm(no subject)
jinkx monsoon
I'm very worried about my dog right now. Saturday morning she started throwing up. She also kept trying to have a bowel movement but only a little liquid was coming out (I know this is gross, sorry). I took her to the vet and they gave her an injection of antibiotics and gave her some fluids intravenously, and she got a scrip for antibiotic pills. They told me not to give her any food or water until that night. She wouldn't eat anything once we were able to feed her again, and she couldn't keep the medicine down. Now it's been about 48 hours since she's eaten anything and she won't take the medicine. She hasn't been throwing up, but she will regurgitate any fluids she gets. The only thing she's eaten is grass. She hasn't had any BMs since yesterday, but there was a little bit of blood in her last stool. The vet's not open again until Tuesday, so I've been looking at the internet at every worst case scenario. This reminds me of when my cat had kidney failure ten years ago. She suddenly stopped eating and by the time they figured out what was wrong with her, it was too late. If my dog needs any pricey medical procedure, I don't know if my parents would go through with it, and I doubt I could afford to pay for it myself. I really don't want anything to happen to her, I don't know if I could handle it :(
06:33 pm - WTF?
jinkx monsoon
I was just informed by my brother that my local Goodwill, where I often shop and half of my wardrobe is from, was destroyed by a fire. I'll be wearing all black tomorrow, ya'll. I will always remember the good bargains I found and the countless hours I spent looking for them.
jinkx monsoon
I've honestly spent so much time trying to come up with a name, userpic, and color scheme for this journal that I'm not in the mood to write a full entry. I promise I'll be back in full swing soon.

So why the new journal? Writing down all my thoughts in a stream of consciousness can be therapeutic, I admit, but I think some things are better left to myself. Half the time I make an angry or melancholy entry, I'm over it the next day. When I reread what I've written, I can see how over-dramatic and self-piteous I was being. Writing it all out definitely contributes to the "getting over it," but there's no reason to inflict all that on everyone else. Not that you guys haven't been supportive, quite the opposite, but I just feel slightly embarrassed when I go into "woe is me" mode. Plus, I think dwelling on the negative only makes things worse. So at the moments when I feel overwhelmed to the point that I can't think rationally, it would probably be best to write it all down on a piece of paper and trash it once I've moved on. No reason to keep those feelings alive. I'd rather use this space to post about everyday occurences, things that inspire me, things I want to share. Something positive for once. I'm looking forward it.

Oh, the name: I got it from "Danny Boy" by Rufus Wainwright. I'm kind of second guessing the decision, since it goes it against the whole positivity aspect of this journal, but every other name I wanted was either taken already or didn't look right when I typed it out. Eh, what can you do?
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